They spent their summers by the lake house. Not so much swimming in the lake so much as staring at it. Not really from the lake shore, so much as from atop the rain tank perched meekly on a tower to the left of the mild cabin that huddled by said lake shore.They would pull up a sound-box and sit it on a plank traversing the radius of the tank and throw some drinks into the teasingly cold water. Music would radiate from their nest, wafting over the whispering waters, tickling the trees and glinting back at the sun.

They would slink back and forth singing and chanting:

“The boat is | be gin ning to | leak a gain.

The boat is | be gin ning to | rock.

We stepped on the| boat, full |  kno wing that,

Even tua lly it would | stop.”

I would sit hidden amongst them. Under ruffly breath, breathily whispering, murmuring, mumbling:

I am not an Island, though I was in the sea.

I was not, I am not, I am a buzzing bee.

I eloped with an urchin, though I was married to the wind.

Slept on through earthquakes of sound and echoes.

Floating has now taken on; a thicker coat, velvet gloves and an ironic wink.

I dream of green blue planets, though I never learnt how to sing.

Not even softly, not in the shower and never in the Spring.

I ride upon the storm-clouds, though I didn’t see the sands.

Kept going through the night, in wait for this to begin.

Should have known,

it began.

.

She is a an insect, a creature of forlorn deceit.

Stringing along imaginary songs,

Of water, wind and sometimes someone.

I knew her once, not too long ago

She strung us along, it was like,

vertigo.

————————————-

You know, really, they were probably just doing the same:

They said we’d get there. So where? I asked. They said we don’t care. Just anywhere. Just anywhere.

They said some time we’d reach that point. So when? I asked. They said we don’t mind. Soon anytime. Soon anytime.

They hung themselves, out to dry. Old and odd, clothes colourful on the clothes line.

Drip Drip Dry.

Their memories sparkled out in the sun. Their dirt all washed out, so they were glorified, shining.

The quirky t-shirts and cotton pyjamas,  the silk scarves, the woollen socks, the sundresses, old jeans and the dress pants.

Threads stringing out from some. Into the next, the best, the rest.

That string of folksongs. All out to wait.

Not yet shrunk by thought machines. As yet unfaded, as yet unbled. Not quite bleached colourless and not quite the same.

At the whim of whims.

They smile, as their colourful selves hung out in the day, at night, in the rain, till the next, sunny cloudy day.

Drip Drip Dry.

“Though empires crumble to dust

and centuries lost in shadows,

the marble still sighs to the stars

‘I remember’ “

– Lover’s Gift I – Rabindranath Tagore

——————–

The weight of the memories are indescribable at best. Having a never ending depth and seem to stretch further back beyond the base of the eyes. They press upon the chest like a sleeper in the night. Sighing, softly, up rise, down fall. “Oh Remind Me,” Röyksopp infects the head with vaguely nostalgic words that echo as though they’ve always been there. These are the quiet hours, when nothing calls and the head runs dry. And full.

There are certain conversations that were meant to be remembered. They only occur so that you may retain the memory of that instance, that thought. You remember how you were both positioned, the expressions, the environment. The scent will linger in your mind, and you can swear that you can still feel how the wind rustled through the leaves on your skin on that strange afternoon. But you don’t necessarily remember the content of the conversation itself. That information seems, in retrospect, almost trivial and irrelevant. Like it was nothing but an excuse to have that memory. You may never recall what words were exchanged, or what ideas were born. And pity as that may seem, nothing can replace that ghostly remembarance. But you’ll never forget that that conversation did indeed take place. It will simply remain as one of those slipping sand memories you just keep grasping at.

Honesty; It’s the street dog that never died,

that lay afloat in the rising falling staying tide,

of floodwater stagnant, rooftops, smiled,

I played in the water, he whispers, I lied.

Away;

Staggering amounts of stardust have fallen upon large communities of hermits that sit quietly together, all alone in the vast wilderness. They were trying to remember the truth in their stories. The basis of their fabricated memories. Silently remembering. Earnestly, honestly, fervently trying. Unsettled reminiscing of all those half baked lives. Those frayed threads left dangling at the edge. The half filled vessels they forgot to tip out as they exit stage left.

They’re not in the bones, not in the hearts,

they’re starting to move, groaning apart.

The creepers, they smear, seep into the lungs,

comforting sounds, asunder, above.

Have them away, having their way,

coming along, coming away.

Stopping them now, stopping the strays,

watching them grow, awake and ablaze.

Noises, they’re louder, white, blue and green,

noises are louder, those that can be seen.

Quieting verses, throw them away,

awash in the sea, god saved them anyway?

(non-content comment: … right.)

After a brief holiday, I return!
Moving on to bigger or brighter, slightly or unsightly things.

A story that gives sense
(an anonymous tale I was told by a friend)

A potentate asks his wise men to compile all the knowledge in the world in one place for his son to learn. The wise men go away for a year and come back with 12 volumes. “Too long, make it shorter,” says the potentate. The wise men go away for another year and return with a single volume and once again the potentate says “too long, make it shorter.” They leave for yet another year and return with a single sheaf of paper. The potentate reads it. It has only one line that says:
“This too shall pass”

—————
– How can you know so surely who you are? – she quietly whispered. Then he took her hand and placed it on his chest and said, — Because this is real, and this, now, is where I am. – She never did understand that confidence. That staunch belief in tangible moments. Everything seemed to crunch in her mouth like smoke.

Coffee bones and glasses thin. Dancing slow and waking dim.
So many unfinished projects. Half eaten ideas slowly smelling faintly of mothballs.

Picker upper pucker up.
This is how we pick us up.
Tiny strings and shiny things.
Golden rings we thoughtlessly sing.

I think I found a better world,
In between the threads,
That held together this and that,
Just beneath our beds.
—————

Remind me,

Of times when we would dance.

From moonrise, till light crept in,

from fresh smoke, to stale bread.

“What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story and the greatest good is little enough for all life is a dream…”

– Life is a Dream; Calderon de la Barca,

“Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.”

– The Summer Day, Mary Oliver

The weight of memories are indescribable at best.

I bite my fingers as I think. My pupils fall black in the reflection of the mirror. The computer glows back and makes me tinge a blue. I think. I think.

———————————

Forest Folk; Type One

Sometimes I could swear that the roots of the worst are in the breath of the first.
The ones who still thirst live lives murkier than most.
The ones who still yearn feel the wind on their cheeks,
whirlpool of leaves, down by their feet,
smoke bubbles at their lips.

They’re in trouble.

They are
misty mumbling creatures.
Fumbling through latches, tumbling in grasses,
so long, it tickles their knees.

They are
slippery wily peoples.
Lingering on at night, darkening doorways,
so quiet, that echoes ring.

Not even
if they look softer than skin,
Seem tinier than
whimsical notions,
are lighter than being.

The roots of their hearts and their branches of thought
cling harder than I would to your hand in the dark.
Deceiving vice grip.

They are not just thirsty, hungering, yearning creatures.
They are clawing at awnings of rooftops above.
Desperately seeking something more than just love.
Actively taking whats more than their breath.
Silently shaking the leaves off the rest.

Sometimes I do swear they can be better than this,
seemingly bliss-
ful. Seeming amiss.
Seeming to be able
of more than a kiss
and run.

———————————

—
She felt her ghost toe wriggling in her shoes. Begging her to toss them off. Wear some slippers. Soft. Soft. She’d be in a meeting, skirt smoothed flat, hair tucked in, feet packed up, and then it would begin to taunt her. Nudging the folds of the pumps. Her ankle beginning to itch. A flakey sensation sliding up her back. Sometimes she’d give in. Take off a boot for a minute. Relish in her wickedness. No one knows why she’s smiling. Under the table, her ghost toe is proud of her choice. It goes well. She slips her shoe back on. Leaves.

Sometimes it goes awry. The toe proceeds to inspire mutiny in her foot. Slowly it drags the other apparently normal and visible toes along. Her foot creeps along a chair, prodding someone else’s. She gets odd looks . Snatches her calf and jams the heel down, forces her toes into submission. And gets on with her day.

Such is life. That’s what she deserves it seems. She’s still undecided whether the toe was really worth it. No more late night poker she thinks.
—

I like to listen to the sad Music at the end of odd movies. It’s all dark and the computer is on. The credits are rolling. Dolly Grip. Thomas Green. Assistant to Mr. Durant. Kamini Shah. And between all that is a the minor french voice singing quietly to me through the wiry headphones. It finally reaches some obscure hour of the night, the music stops and the feverous clack of the keys takes over. I pause and trace the shadow of myself on the wall, everything is quiet. It gets to the point where thoughts swell and break upon my chair. I sink in and slip sleep.

This is the sound of the wind stopping, of our eyes closing and the ground forming.
They said it would take a while, so wait we do, wait do we.
The uncertainty was plain to see.
So pause we did, pause did we.

This is the sound of the night breaking, of our breath catching and the skies shaking.
They said it was the end that mattered.
Shattered. Splattered. Nattered.
The uncertainty was plain to see.
But here we stay, stay do we.

This is the sound of strings detaching, of our hearts beating and the world still waiting.